Reflexions

I’m sitting in a small, European-style café about twenty minutes from the yoga school, one of those cozy places with tropical juices, pancakes, and that quiet amount of travelers coming and going. I came here craving something familiar, maybe a taste of home, maybe just a moment to breathe outside the yoga bubble.

The tourist area feels alive, full of families, and shops. It’s strange, comforting and distant at the same time. People call us bidis here, the foreigners. For once, it doesn’t feel odd to be sourranded by so many, and yet, I still feel a little apart.

This part of India is so different from what I experienced in the North; more modern, open, global. Life feels softer here, easier in a way. And Ben was right: all parts of India are so different from each other. Maybe that’s why he’s been on my mind a lot today.

Sitting here, drinking a weird but tasty juice, I can picture him right across the table, smiling, teasing me for ordering something “too fancy,” and me stealing bites from his plate and afterwards asking him to finnish mine cause i’m too full. I imagine us playing cards, making silly bets, sharing food, and wandering around hand in hand, completely lost in our own world. Riding behind him on the scooter,wind in the face, trusting him completely in every turn, feeling free together. 

I miss that, the feeling of us discovering the world. The simplicity of being together, of knowing someone understands your quiet moments as much as your loud and weird ones.

Being alone has its own magic, it’s teaching me a lot about myself but days like this make me grateful to know what I’m missing. Because missing him doesn’t exactly  hurt but it just reminds me how much love there is and how beautifully we hold hands through our life together.